Things I'm not allowed to do In Providence 2

[Seven]

I am not allowed to make videos of Six and Holiday in Six's room.
I am not allowed to add "sound effects" to the videos.

[Sirenitie]

I am not the Breach of Providence.
("I might not be able to make portals, but I can still use my hands to take you to an uncomfortable place." ;3 )

[Aenrhien]

Employee position: Red Shirt, Janitor, Cook
Employee name: Jordan
File opened: Reprimandation Record
Notes: Agent has been a bad puppy and has been ordered to write lines. Copy below.


Challenging Agent Six to a naked sword fight is not allowed.
Convincing Dr. Holiday that she wants to see such a thing is not allowed.
I am not allowed to dare Rex to make out with Agent Six.
Agent Six is not Saïx, replacing his Magna-Blades with a claymore will get me killed.
Agent Six is not Auron, replacing all his suits with a red robe, grey pants, a black shirt and boots will get me killed.
Van Kleiss is not Darth Vader, calling him this will get me petrified.
Calling Van Kleiss's flying whale Sin does not make Van Kleiss Jecht.
I am not allowed to make out with Van Kleiss.
I am not allowed to steal all of Agent Six's suits, underwear and towels while he's in the shower.
Agent Six does not taste like mint.
I will not sing the Ghostbusters theme every time I see White Knight on screen.
Nor will I hum the Star Trek theme every time he walks around in his space suit.
Putting one of those EVO bunnies in Rex's room is not funny.
Putting one of those EVO bunnies in Agent Six's closet is not funny.
Saying my fur needs to breathe is not an excuse for lounging around naked.
Lounging naked in Agent Six's room is not a good idea.
Saying I'm in heat and need to flaunt my EVO mojo is not an excuse to lounge around naked.
I will not dye my fur blue and demand everyone call me Kimahri.
I am not allowed to tell Dr. Holiday that Agent Six tastes like mint.
I am not allowed to do a striptease for the ladies of Providence.
I am not allowed to do a striptease for the men of Providence either.
I will keep my clothes on at all times unless I'm showering.
I am not allowed to air dry my fur.
Just because I can howl does not mean that I should.
The same goes for barking.
Hacking the Providence computers to force translate all the documents on the system into Al Bhed is not a good idea.
I will not tackle Agent Six and lick him on the face when he returns from missions.
I will not tackle Agent Six and attempt to nuzzle his groin when he returns from missions.
Nor will I do either of the above to Rex.
Or Dr. Holiday.
Or Noah.
I will not attempt to teleport Dr. Holiday to Agent Six's room.
I will not spike the coffee in the break room with Viagra.
I will not put sticky notes on Agent Six's Magna-Blades informing him of when Dr. Holiday is prime for mating.
Pushing Agent Six into the tub with Rex is neither allowed nor smart.
Pushing Agent Six into the tub with Dr. Holiday is also not allowed.
Pushing Noah into the tub with Rex is not allowed.
I am not a Pokémon Master.
Van Kleiss is not Orochimaru.
Van Kleiss is not Lord Voldemort.
I will not try to convince Agent Six to wear a Scyther costume.
Nor will I try to convince him to wear a Gallade costume.
Or Dr. Holiday to wear a Gardevoir costume.
Or Rex to wear a Ralts costume.
I am no longer allowed near anything combustable.
I am not allowed to dye my fur orange with black stripes and pretend I'm a Growlithe.
I am officially banned from using tequila, lighter fluid and a Zippo lighter to pretend I'm a Growlithe.
I am not allowed to grow illegal drugs in my closet, or in the petting zoo by claiming it's an EVO plant.
Pushing Rex into the tub with Dr. Holiday is not allowed.
I am not allowed to let Gatlocke out of his cell.
Humming Auron's Theme from Final Fantasy X whenever Agent Six does something badass is not allowed.
Humming the victory music from Final Fantasy X whenever Rex wins a fight is not allowed.
I am not allowed to spike Dr. Holiday's coffee and lock her in a closet with Agent Six.
I am not allowed to spike Dr. Holiday's coffee and lock her in a closet with Rex.
I will not replace Agent Six's mints with Viagra and lock him in a closet with Dr. Holiday.
I will not replace Agent Six's mints with Viagra and lock him in a closet with Rex.
I will not dye White Knight's hair and all of his suits pink.
I am not allowed to steal all of Dr. Holiday's clothes, underwear and towels while she's in the shower.
I am not allowed to send Agent Six to investigate her disappearance should I do so.
Nor am I allowed to send Rex should I do so and Agent Six is unable to be found.
I will not imply that Agent Six is having improper sexual relations with Dr. Holiday.
I will not imply that Agent Six is having improper sexual relations with Rex.
I will not write fanfiction of either scenario and email it to the entire Providence network.
I am not allowed to make comics implying that Rex is making improper use of his Nanite powers.
I am not allowed to randomly start doing the Thriller dance and threaten to eat people if they don't join in.

[wh1tetigerdemoness]

Hahahah! The above post makes me LOL. YES IT DOES.

[xXSpiritKeeperXx]

I am not allowed to sing We Will be Heroes.
I am not allowed to glomp Aenrhein for being a fellow Pokemaniac.
I am not allowed to do an extreme Happydance.
I am not allowed to nomnomnom anyone.
I am not allowed to follow Dr Holiday. (Note FOLLOW, not STALK.)
I am not allowed to spam you all with spam.
I am not allowed to say that Van Kleiss is a vampire.
I am not allowed to say that Van Kleiss sparkles.
If I do so my stone remains will rot in hell.
I am not allowed to pretend to be Emerald flying around as a Staraptor.
I am not allowed to interrupt Six.
Or Holiday.
Or Rex.
Or Noah.
Or my mum
I AM allowed to interrupt White.
I am not allowed to make spelling errors.
I am not allowed to spam this site with Pokemon.

[theycallmejack]

Employee position: Grunt, mook, masked-soldier
Employee name: Jack... or Pete... or Vivian
File opened: Reprimand Record
Notes: Employee has been obnoxious and highly disruptive as well as slightly dangerous to others. White Knight is not amused. Suggested punishment is to copy the following lines:

I will NOT attempt to create a "Running of the EVOs" event in Providence hallways.
I will NOT set ANYTHING on fire.
Despite how he may look, White Knight does NOT want a hug. Especially not from me.
Agent Six is a highly trained, extremely dangerous Field Operative, he is NOT "Squishy". Nor does he appreciate being poked.
"Rawr" Does NOT mean "I love you" in EVO.
I will NOT feed the EVOs unless told otherwise.
There is no such thing as an "EVO Huntin' Season"
Stomping around the hallways and making dinosaur noises is NOT appropriate behavior for my current occupation.
Agent Six is NOT an evil, cloned, computer program and my name is NOT Neo.
Pop-culture references are NOT funny.
I will NOT "assume" anything, because when one "assumes", they make an "A$$" out of "u" and "me".
The above pun was NOT funny.
I am NOT irreplaceable.
Arson is rude.
As is murder.
As well as thievery, mischief, shenanigans, and tripping people in the hallway.
Rex is NOT an toy.
Dr. Holiday and Agent Six are my superiors and shall be treated as such.
I am NOT as funny as I think I am.

[Aenrhien]

I am not allowed to tackleglomp Spirit over Pokémon.
I do not have a high enough rank to tell Jack/Pete/Vivian that he can feed the EVOs.
"Rawr!" also doesn't mean "I want a hug!" in EVO.
Neither does "Woof!", "Meow!" or any variety of purring, clicking, cawing or biting.

[crazyraven]

i am not allowed to blow kisses to knight cos he can't catch them
i'm not allowed to train with the grunts with real knives
i'm not allowed to canon ball off the top of the petting zoo waterfall

[theycallmejack]

"Because Aenrhien told me I could" Is NOT an excuse.
"Because Rex dared me to" Is also NOT an excuse.
"Beacuse I'm having a bad day" Is MOST DEFINITELY NOT an excuse.
I will NOT hide under anyone's bed.
I will NOT enter the following states: California, Nebraska, New York, Colorado, Montana, or Alaska.
I will also stay away from Zimbabwe. (Long story)

[xXSpiritKeeperXx]

I will not attack Aenrhien with FellowPokemaniacAttack.
I will not try to engage him in a PM spam-fest about Pokemon.
I will not make a thread about Pokemon, so I can spam it.
I will NEVER paint Six's swords green, and paint his tie red, and paint his pants white.
I will NEVER pour blue paint over Holiday's head.
I will NEVER give Rex awesome ideas about a Scizor.
I will NEVER replace all of White's suits with an Aggron costume.
I will keep my voice to myself.
I will not hug Rex.
I will not hug Holiday.
I will never hug Bobo.
I will never hug Six, on pain of impalement.
I will never attempt to get the powers of a Ragerhinocerosaurus, lest I turn into a Groudon and not be able to fit into the Petting Zoo.
I will not fly up high and drop Rex into the canyon.
I will not use my cape to hide in the middle of the cafeteria in a blackout.

[crazyraven]

I will not use the grunts uselessness as an excuse.
i will not steal people's underwear.
i will not acuse six of eating people's souls.
i will try not to put bobo in near death situations.

[purplecyanide]

I will not adopt loads of rabbits and give them to Rex.
I will not shout 'Look Nakid Six!' just to see who will turn around.
I will not replace all of Rex's clothes with extremely undersized girls clothes.
I will not try and steal some of Skalamander's crystals to make a pretty pretty necklace~

[worthitall]

I cannot ask Black Knight for milk and cookies
I cannot blackmail a cheap edited video of Six and Dr. Holiday in Rex's dorm
I cannot steal Bobo's hat while he's taking a nap

[Aenrhien]

I will not attempt to make Agent Six naked, that way purplecyanide can shout about naked Six to see who'll look.
Just because I enjoy Doctor Holiday's cooking does not mean everyone else will.
I am not allowed to aid the White Knight in his hostile takeovers.
"I was bored" is never a valid excuse to do anything at all, let alone riding the EVO rabbit around the base chasing Rex.
I am not allowed to imply Caesar is making improper use of his robots, nor am I allowed to attempt to prove it with clearly Photoshopped security footage.

[Mala Loba]

Adding "Is that so?" to the end of anyone's statement is childish.
- So is repeating it in a mocking tone. Is that soooo?
- If I say a certain phrase one more time, everyone has permission to hit me.
I will not play Wilhelm screams over the intercom.
The directions to Providence HQ are not "Outside the government, beyond the police, take a left at the coffee shop and go into the deserty kinda place." (lol, Torchwood reference)
Yelling, "Meanwhile, at HQ" is not only stupid and meaningless, it disturbs people working.